


And the Sky was Blue

by tini_dancer



Category: Dead Poets Society (1989)
Genre: Dark Acadamia, I promise the first ship I tagged is not a joke I promise, Los Angeles, Multi, New England, New Jersey, New York City, Not A Fix-It, Poetry, Post-Canon, Teaching, They all have jobs, They’re all Married, because i refuse to believe there wasn’t something there, if we are never gonna get a sequel then y’all are getting this, i’m sorry this is filled with angst, sorry - Freeform, they all have families, they are all like 50 and old
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-18
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 12:07:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25969411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tini_dancer/pseuds/tini_dancer
Summary: No matter what age you are, what generation you come from, or where you live, one thing seems to be for certain: school is school. It’s full of long classes with lectures and worksheets and essays and tests. That’s how school had been ever since the beginning, when kids had to trek miles to attend their one room school, if they were able. Though schools were more pervasive, large, and ranged, the basic way students learned was not that much different, even in 1990. No matter the decade, school was school. No matter public or private, small or large, in the south or in the north, it was all the same. That is, until you actually consider the aspect of society into the matter. That’s when things get mushy.~~~~It’s September 1990, and the Dead Poets are all grown up and living in the real world. They have not spoken in many years and have lost touch with one another. But fate, and a lawsuit against Welton Knox is preparing, brings them back together, and they must face old demons, confront their pains, and stand together in the name of free thinking and justice.
Relationships: Charlie Dalton/Original Character(s), Gerard Pitts/Original Character(s), Knox Overstreet/Original Character(s), Steven Meeks/Original Character(s), Todd Anderson/Neil Perry, Todd Anderson/Original Character(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 23





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I hope you enjoy!
> 
> -title from a poem of the same name by Nico Julleza
> 
> TWs in this chapter:  
> -lots of anxiety/panic attack  
> -grief

No matter what age you are, what generation you come from, or where you live, one thing seems to be for certain: school is school. It’s full of long classes with lectures and worksheets and essays and tests. That’s how school had been ever since the beginning, when kids had to trek miles to attend their one room school, if they were able. Though schools were more pervasive, large, and ranged, the basic way students learned was not that much different, even in 1990. No matter the decade, school was school. No matter public or private, small or large, in the south or in the north, it was all the same. That is, until you actually consider the aspect of society into the matter. That’s when things get mushy.

This bustling high school in New York City seemed fairly cliche. Almost 2,000 students, multistoried, and lockers lining almost every hallway. But then again the school was wedged between two apartment complexes in the middle of Brooklyn, adding up instead of out when it had to. Which is why Nate and Natalie were climbing a set of tall stairs to the fourth floor for their English class.

“I will never get used to this,” Natalie said as she squeezed past a group of girls going down, “I’m not fit enough for this.”

“It’s stairs, Nat,” Nate chuckled, a classic mischievous smile on his face, “It could be worse. You could… fall flat on your ass down there.” He turned around and pretended to lunge at his sister, causing Natalie to jump, then slap him on the arm.

“That’s not funny, Nate. You don’t want me getting hurt, do you?”

He shook his head, “You know I don’t. But then again, it would give us an excuse to use the elevator…”

“Don’t shove me down the stairs, asshole!”

Nate put his hands up in defense, “I’m not going to shove you, Nat! Unlike most guys in this place I actually have respect for the prettiest girl near me.”

Natalie shuttered, “God, you’re weird. I’m your sister, not your next hookup.”

“Even if you weren’t, I wouldn’t bang you.”

“I would hope not!”

The twins made it up the stairs and turned left, ducking past flying paper balls and even a Coca Cola can. They entered their English classroom and took their seats near the middle, in adjacent desks. Natalie pulled out her notebook and poetry packet for the class, eyeing her brother as he just sat there not preparing for class beforehand, like usual. Their teacher did usually laugh when he saw students digging through their bottomless backpacks in the middle of class, but it was still not a very good thing. She flipped through the pages of the packet, wondering which poem they were going to cover. It was Friday, which meant they were going to analyze a random poem for the entire class. Sometimes it was boring, sometimes it was enlightening, but for the teacher, it was always fun.

The bell rang, and the class settled down. Their teacher, who was originally behind his desk, got up and took a piece of chalk, writing on the board _Song of Myself 52, Walt Whitman_. Natalie found that quickly near the middle of the thick packet and turned to that page, putting the that day’s date near the title to remember when they did it.

“Alright, class,” The teacher smiled and opened a binder, “Attendance time. Is anyone not here?”

“I’m not!” Nate raised his hand and smirked, “I’m astral projecting. Natalie can vouch for me.”

The class laughed loudly, and their teacher couldn’t help but shake his head and laugh along with them, “Okay, Nate, I will make sure I tell the attendance office that.”

Natalie reached over and shrugged her brother a little. Nate gave her a confident smile, then told the teacher, “You know, Mr. Anderson, I wouldn’t be able to do that with any of my other teachers. That’s what makes you cool.”

Mr. Anderson closed his binder and took it back to his desk, “Well, I’m flattered, Nate. Now why don’t you do me a solid and get out your packet, like your sister.”

Nate pointed at his teacher and reached down to dig out his packet. 

“That goes for anyone else who hasn’t gotten it out yet. I love this poem, so this is going to take a while.”

They did what they normally do on Fridays. They read the poem independently first, then Mr. Anderson reads it aloud. They then delve deep into annotating the poem as a class, with Mr. Anderson picking kids at random to point out something that stood out to them. This was an interesting poem. Not the weirdest, but still pretty cool. It was about freedom and independence, having a purpose. Mr. Anderson talked very highly of the poem throughout the class, and once they were done analyzing it, he leaned against his desk and was honest.

“I first was made aware of this poem when I was 17. I know, the dinosaur age, but it tells you something when I still admire it to this day. My own senior English teacher showed me this. Well, part of it. Believe it or not, I was not the confident leader you now see before you,” the class shared a small laugh, “I actually had a lot of self esteem problems. I didn’t have many friends, it was hard for me to talk to anyone, even my own family. I didn’t think I could do or make anything worthwhile. The assignment that week had been to write our own poem, and I didn’t think anything I came up with was good, so I never finished. When I told my teacher this, he wrote the line ‘I sound my barbaric yawp over the rooftops of the world’ on the board and told me to come up to the front and, well, sound my barbaric yawp. Literally. As we discussed, a yawp is a loud cry or yell, which meant I had to scream that word to help break out of my shell. Even then, my teacher wasn’t satisfied, and he coerced a completely improvised poem from me. In front of my whole class. It was so embarrassing, considering some of the terminology I made up. But he was impressed, and so were my friends and classmates. I didn’t completely change after that, but it was a great starting point. Now, over thirty years later, I’m in his shoes, hopefully impacting your lives and helping you figure out who you are and how you fit, or even better, not fit, into this world.”

The bell rang just as he finished his speech, and everyone packed up. As they left, Mr. Anderson called out, “Remember we have a quiz on Monday! Have a great weekend!”

Nate and Natalie were just leaving when their counselor, Mrs. Vick came into the room.

“Hello, Mrs. V,” Natalie greeted kindly.

Mrs. Vick smiled at the twins, “Hi, Mr. and Miss Dalton. Glad to see you both happy after this class. It’s common to see, but always a delight.”

“Well we love it and Mr. Anderson,” Nate replied, and their counselor nodded.

“Speaking of…” She turned to the teacher, “Todd! I need a minute with you.”

Nate and Natalie exited the class together as Mrs. Vick approached the English teacher. Todd turned from erasing his board and said, “Hey Marie, what’s up?”

Marie turned to make sure the classroom was empty. She tucked a piece of her hair back and said, “It’s Robin. She’s down in my office right now with one of the office aides.”

Todd became worried, straightening up his poster and his smile disappearing, “What happened? Is she okay?”

“Her algebra teacher sent her down. Apparently she failed a test and when she saw the grade she started freaking out. Hyperventilating, shaking, stuttering while being out of breath. She’s not okay. I think she needs to go home.”

He knew exactly what was going on. Todd went to his desk and quickly packed his things, leaving a note for the eventual substitute on how to handle the rest of his classes. He lastly grabbed his jacket and walked out with Marie, “Make sure that the front office sends a sub for me as soon as they can, alright?”

“I’ll tell them. You sure you’re not coming back?”

Todd shook his head, “I think I need to talk to her. And help her. I get what she’s going through.”

They made it down to the first floor and to the counselors’ center. The pair went down to Marie’s office, where in a chair in front of the desk sat a young teenage girl with thick brown hair with her knees up in her chest and her eyes closed. Todd couldn’t help but get a hint of anxiety as well.

“Hey, sweetie,” Todd knelt next to her chair and placed a hand on her arm, “I’m here.”

Robin didn’t move. She was still shaking and was even crying now, large sobs that almost echoed. The aide, a girl a little older, left the room to give them space, much concern in her eyes. Todd leaned forward and pressed a kiss to Robin’s shoulder, saying, “Let’s go home, baby. Can you walk to the car?”

With some hesitation, Robin nodded and replied, “Y-yeah, dad. I ca… can, I th-think.”

Todd helped her up and held her close, the two of them huddled as they walked out. They quickly stopped at the attendance desk to sign her out, and then out the front to the staff parking lot. Luckily Todd’s car was near the front and they were off quickly. The car ride was silent, other than the occasional sob from Robin. Todd found himself wiping away silent tears as he drove to their apartment a few roads over. He remembered his own panic attacks he would get when he was a teenager, just as scary as the one before. One thing he hoped Robin wouldn’t have inherited was his own mental health problems, but it seemed like that was the case. She might have looked almost exactly like her mother, but she had her father’s timidness and anxiety, which, honestly, scared the crap out of him.

They got home in no time, which made Todd feel more comfortable. He led his fifteen year old daughter up the stairs to their apartment on the second floor. When they got there, they sat on the couch, and Robin began to talk.

“Daddy, I-I have no cl-clue what hap...happened. I mean, I know I-I-I’m not good at m-math, but I f-fa...failed, and my b-b-brain j-just…” she was bawling again, and Todd held her close and let her get it all out. He bit his lip and then kissed the top of her head.

“I get it, sweetie. I was never that good at math myself, especially at your age. But you know what? I was also bad at handling my feelings. I know this is scary, and you feel like you’re dying. But this is completely normal, I promise you. Y-you know, I used to get panic attacks, too. All the time.”

Robin sniffled and raised her head, “Th...that sounds like a lie.”

“It’s not,” Todd gave her a small smile, “I started getting them when I was about 14, about a year younger than you. And unlike you, I had no one to turn to about it. You know what your grandmother and grandfather are like,” he paused to let Robin chuckle, because she knew how strict and conservative they were, which is why they never went to visit them, “But, after one horrible one my freshman year of college, I went to see a therapist. And things started getting easier.”

Before he could continue, Robin shook her head, “N-no, I don’t wa-want to s-s-see a ther...therapist.”

“I’m not saying that,” Todd took her hands into his, “but I am saying you should tell us when you are down. I want you to have that ability. One that I never had.”

Robin laid her head on her dad’s chest and they sat there for a good few minutes in complete silence. They even closed their eyes just to simply think. Robin was beginning to calm down, thank God. It had only been an hour, which felt like a few in her mind. She didn’t realize the concept of time could escape her like that. It was then she realized how fucked up the experience actually was. It was insane. But she was in her dad’s arms, and she was safe. So she did her best to let herself feel safe.

Not long later, the front door opened. Both Robin and Todd looked up and smiled, the former being taken from her dad’s arms and swept into a new pair.

“Oh, baby,” Peggy hugged her daughter close, “Are you alright? The school called and said your father brought you home.”

“She had a panic attack in class,” Todd explained, “the counselor came and got me so I decided to come home with her.”

Peggy released Robin and moved a piece of hair from in front of her face, “Are you feeling better?”

Robin nodded, “Yeah, a little, a-actually. I’m n-not st-st...stuttering nearly as b-bad.”

“Well, if you want to talk about a stutter, let’s talk about your father’s.” Peggy smiled and eyed her husband.

“Hey, I don’t even have one anymore, thank you very much,” Todd crossed his arms.

His daughter laughed a little and wiped her tears away, “I d-don’t think it’s pos-possible for you to have a-a stu-stutter.”

Peggy smirked, “Oh trust me, baby, he had one. He still had it when we met.”

“It was college! I got help with it during then.”

The family laughed together, and Robin felt good enough to go to her room to relax and possibly take a nap before starting any homework. Peggy and Todd share a look and start to prepare dinner for that evening.

That night, when Robin had gone to bed, Todd dug through the bottom of the closet in his and his wife’s room. He pulled out an old shoe box and popped the top off, sitting it and himself on the edge of the bed. He smiled as he flipped through the pictures inside, not having seen them in many years. For some reason, that night felt like the right time to look at them. He chuckled at a few, remembering how stupid he and his friends were back at Welton, even if the school was so harsh on freedom. He felt thankful for Charlie, who had given him this box the summer before they all went to college. Charlie had a fancy expensive camera that his parents got him, and he would take random pictures throughout the semester both of them were there together. Many pictures of the Dead Poets Society in the cave, the God of the Cave lit and someone reading from the green book. Todd hadn’t spoken to any of them in about 25 years. God, they were so young then. _He_ was so young. His skin smooth and hair soft and fully blond, not a grey hair in sight. There was even a picture of Mr. Keating that Charlie had snuck a picture of, standing in the hallway by the trophy cases. Mr. Keating had been dead a couple years by then, but his legacy remained even after everything they had gone through that wonderful yet tragic fall semester.

Then he reached this one picture. Todd had forgotten Charlie had taken it. He had forgotten it had even happened. It was such a distant memory that it didn’t even feel real. He didn’t even realize that he had begun to cry until he tasted salt on his lips. He heard Peggy’s voice softly ask him what the matter was, feeling her body weight shift as she crawled across the mattress. But she paused when she saw the picture. She had known. She had known since before they were married. So of course she wrapped her arms around her husband and let him cry it out. She stared at the picture and couldn’t help but smile. The boys in the picture looked so happy and free. Like there wasn’t a care in the world, no matter the year. No matter what society was like. 

“You two look so peaceful there.” She said quietly.

Todd, while sniffling, nodded, “We were.”

“He was very beautiful.”

“He was.”

She kissed the top of her husband’s head and said, “Do you still miss him?”

There was a pause.

“Every goddamn day of my life.”

~~~~

“Dad, paper!”

Bill entered his dad’s home office and placed it on his desk, “It was in the driveway. It’s here when you’re ready for it.”

“Thanks, sport,” his dad smiled, “Now go help your sister with her homework. You know she needs it.”

“Okay, dad. Love you.” Bill walked out of the office.

“Love you, too!”

Knox Overstreet turned his attention away from a file and at the paper. He could use a quick break. He skimmed through the front headline, something about the New England Patriots, and opened it. It didn’t take long for a certain headline to catch his eye.

_Vermont Private School Stuck in the 50s, Smart or Harmful?_

Knox read every little detail in that article. Of course it was about Welton. It was shocking what was in it. According to the paper, there wasn’t anything different about it from when he had gone there. Still all-boys, still all-white, still conformist. The teaching styles had not changed, and Gale Nolan was even still headmaster at over 100 years old. Knox couldn’t believe what he was reading. 

“Knox, dinner’s ready!”

He didn’t take his eyes off the paper, “Be in there in a minute, Sarah!”

The idea was crazy. It was going to take a lot of work. Good thing he was a lawyer. But he couldn’t do it alone. 

This was going to be an interesting lawsuit to put together.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TWs for this chapter:  
> -descriptions of anxiety  
> -mentioned death

A woman opened the door of her office and let her patient leave first, “I hope you and your husband have fun in Los Vegas, Jen.”

The patient, Jen, smiled a little and looked down at the ground, “I think we will. I feel a lot more comfortable going now that we’ve talked.”

“Going to a new place is really scary, especially when you don’t know what your body can take,” the woman went behind a desk near the lobby and pulled out a binder, “Now, remember that we are upping the dosage on your medicine. Take this,” she gave Jen a slip of paper, “to the pharmacy and they’ll fill it up. You are due for your next appointment in about a month. Do you want to go ahead and schedule it now or wait to see how you’re feeling?”

“Let’s wait,” Jen smiled, “I want to see if the extra meds have any effect.”

“Perfectly understandable.”

Jen paid for her amount due and smiled, “Thank you so much, Dr. Dalton. Have a nice day.”

“You too.” Dr. Dalton smiled.

As Jen left, a new face came into view almost immediately, “Renee, I can’t make it tonight.”

Renee looked up from her binder and furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, “What do you mean you can’t make it? Did something come up?”

“Yeah, you know Gary Campbell, that guy we met at the symposium a few months ago? He’s in town and he wants to meet up. And this is his only night here.”

“Honey, it’s Meet the Teacher,” Renee sighed and leaned forward, placing her elbows on the edge of the desk, “Don’t you want to meet Nate and Nat’s teachers?”

“Of course I do, but-“

Renee interrupted her husband, “Charlie, we have twins in a few separate classes. We need to tag team this. I can’t be in two places at once.”

“Renee,” Charlie took a hold of her hand, “I know. I get it. We’ve been going to Meet the Teachers for twelve years. But this isn’t just some friendly dinner. Dr. Campbell is considering investing in our practice. He was super impressed by our presentation at the symposium and he wants to help fund this place.”

“Whoa…” Renee was taken aback. After years of running their own practice, the Daltons had never had much of an impact on the world of psychiatry. The place was fairly small, with only an office for each of them, a break room, a bathroom, and a small main lobby. The area of Brooklyn their office was wasn’t even that nice, but rent was cheaper there and it was fairly centralized. But they never had any financial issues in the past, especially since, for a small practice, they had had a lot of consistent and well paying patients over the years.

“Ren, think about it.”

His wife nodded, “I am. I mean, we are going to have to start paying for college tuition in about a year.”

“Times two.”

“There’s no way they’re going to the same college. Nate wants to go to California, right? And Natalie wouldn’t dare go to a place she didn’t know.”

“Which means probably NYU, which is a shit ton of money.”

“So is any school in California.”

Charlie squeezed her hand, which he had not let go of in a few minutes. That was usual for him, though. He was a very loving, compassionate husband, “We’re gonna need this investment if we want to send them to the schools of their choice. I can’t miss this.”

Renee nodded, then asked, “Are you going to miss all of it?”

“I hope not. I don’t think so,” Charlie replied, “Dinner’s at 5:30. I know Meet the Teacher starts at 7 and ends at 9. This shouldn’t take that long. I’ll do my best to be there by 8.”

“Okay,” she nodded, “I guess I will just go to the class that seems more important between the two. You think honors biology overpowers shop class?”

Charlie laughed, “I swear, if you go to Nate’s fucking woodshop class and not Nat’s super important class that could eventually save us money when college comes around, I’m going to question your priorities.”

“Says the guy who got expelled from his high school.”

“Hey, I don’t regret that,” he said, then clarified, “And it wasn’t a normal high school. It was a fucked up prep school that got one of my best friends killed.”

Renee said solemnly, “I know. But still, not the kind of history you expect Charles Dalton M.D. to have.”

“No but it’s the history you expect Charlie ‘Nuwanda’ Dalton to have,” Charlie smirked.

“You’re going to have to tell me how you came up with that stupid nickname,” Renee chuckled, “after over 22 years of marriage, I still don’t know.”

Charlie leaned in and kissed his wife quickly, then said close to her lips, “Later. Now I have to prepare for my next appointment. Barney Thorp.”

“The ‘recovering’ drug addict who won’t tell you what he’s taken?”

“Yep,” he kissed her one more time and started to walk away, “See you later, babe!”

Renee rolled her eyes and closed her binder, then headed back to her office.

~~~~

It was unusually quiet in Todd’s room that evening. Sure, neither he nor Robin were the talkative type, and the latter had been doing her homework silently for a few hours, it was still weird. Robin was done with her homework and was now wiping the desks down with disinfectant, like her dad asked her too. Todd was at the chalkboard, writing his information down, as well as a quote he loved. Robin didn’t recognize it, but she assumed it was one her father learned when he was a senior in high school from the amazing teacher he had. That teacher, she couldn’t recall his name, had such an influence on him that he became an english teacher himself. The family even went to the teacher’s funeral a few years back, but Robin barely remembered it. She just remembered her dad being upset that he was the only one out of his old friend group that had gone.

“I guess it makes sense,” she remembered her dad telling her mom, “They all have lives outside of words and language now, I think. There’s no way I can forget.”

Robin hadn’t seen her dad so disappointed before. It was like that fact was more saddening than the death itself. Of course. Robin wasn’t affected at all. She never knew this man, only stories. And to her, he sounded pretty reckless. She didn’t know how her father would want to take after that. But he wasn’t reckless. He was passionate, kind, and fair. If he was like that at home, he surely was like that for his students.

Todd felt like he could taste the thick silence in his room. He looked over to Robin, who was still cleaning the desks. He set his piece of chalk down and said, “You know, they never did anything like this at the school I went to. The only way parents made connections was because their sons had the same teachers for six or so years.”

Robin nodded, but didn’t say anything.

“But that’s what made Mr. Keating, my senior english teacher, as dangerous as he was. No one knew him. That’s why he could do what he wanted. He had no reputation to uphold. And boy did he have one by the time he was fired. Welton never made the same mistake again.”

Still, his daughter had no words.

Todd sighed and walked over to her, “Rob, sweetie, what’s wrong? I get that Friday was rough, but we have to move past that. Is that what’s still bothering you?”

She shrugged, “I-I, no. I m-mean, y-yes, but…”

“You can talk to me. There is no one else here besides you and me.”

Robin shakily exhaled and did her best to explain, “I h-have no clue wh...what is wrong w-with me. I-I-I’t’s been th...three days since I f-failed that st...stu...stupid test and now I c-can’t shake i-it.”

Todd looked down to the ground. God, she was too much like him. Too scared to fail. Too scared of what may happen. Too scared of being scared. If there was one thing he had learned when he was younger, was that thinking about how the anxiety feels only made things worse. That’s why Robin was still so on edge. She hated that feeling, now she was so scared to feel that way that it happened anyways. Todd wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer.

“Listen, Robin, I know it sounds impossible to you that I get what’s happening, but I do get what’s happening. I have been in your shoes way more times than I care to think about. I was still in public school when the bad things started happening to me. And I couldn’t tell my parents because I knew they would be mad at me for being so scared, not being confident. And so I tried to create my own bubble to try and protect myself. It was a little easier when I was at my first private school. No one there cared that I was there. I had my own room so I didn’t have someone prying into my life every day. I was simply there to get good grades so I could fulfill my parents wish of attending Uncle Jeff’s school. And I did not want to go. I even considered purposely flunking my classes so I couldn’t go, but the anxiety I got by possibly facing my parents’ wrath overpowered that desire. And I won’t even go into the anxiety I had at Welton. That was bad. I hated it for a while. But then things got better, then way worse. I won’t go into that, that is for another day. But when I was at Columbia, that is when I started getting professional help. And God I wish I had that when I was your age. It is way more available now than it was even when I was getting therapy. So many more resources, help is easier to find…” Todd bit his lip, “I know you said no to therapy, but-“

“Daddy, please no ‘buts’,” Robin whispered, “I d-don’t want t-t-to seem like a fr..freak.”

Todd closed his eyes. Then thought of something, “I guess that makes me a freak, too.”

Robin shook her head, “You aren’t a fr-freak. Y-you’re a great teacher. And a great dad.”

“But like I said, I went to therapy, when it was a thousand times more taboo. I don’t know anyone from high school or college that had a therapist. And it helped so much. And your anxiety, from what I can tell, is a lot like mine. And therapists now have way more training and experience than ones in the 60s did. Will you please at least try one meeting with one? If you hate it, I promise not to force you to go to another one.”

Robin pondered it. Her dad was so confident, so well spoken. He was able to lead multiple classes a day and not freak out. If she were in his position, she would most definitely. But apparently he wasn’t always that way. There was a side to him she never knew. He had anxiety. He had troubles with school. He had to get professional help back when it was basically frowned upon to do so. Was she really more of her father’s daughter than her mother’s? Sure she looked more like her mom, with her Hispanic complexion and dark hair and eyes, but other than that, she was her dad. Quiet, contained, and apparently, fucked up. So she looked up at her dad with big, shining eyes and smiled a little.

“S-sure. I’ll tr...try it.”

Todd nodded and grinned. He kissed her on the top of her forehead. Then, like she was on a timer, Peggy walked in and smiled.

“Awe, look at this scene. It’s so sweet I wish I had my camera.”

Todd and Robin laughed, and the dad let her daughter go, “Have fun with your night. I’ll have fun with mine.”

Robin leaned in and kissed her dad on the cheek, “See you later, daddy.” She then jogged over to her mom and took her hand, and they were gone.

~~~~

“Okay, okay, okay,” Renee smiled when she and her daughter met up with Nate, “Thank God you guys have this next class together. I’m getting so lost having to navigate my way through here.”

Natalie smiled, “You get used to it. Now, up the stairs!”

Renee hated walking up four flights of stairs just as much as her kids did. She was, of course, much older than both of them and her joints didn’t work the same. She held onto her leaner, much stronger son as they made their way to the fourth floor. Nate just about had to hold her up once they got there, her knees wanting to buckle immediately. But she stayed upright, and they walked to Mr. Anderson’s room.

“Mom, you are going to love him,” Natalie beamed, “He is the best teacher out of all of mine.”

“As much as I hate agreeing with my sister, I agree,” Nate said, “Mr. Anderson has this kind of passion most other teachers don’t have. It keeps class interesting.”

“Well, I’m sure he’ll be great to meet,” Renee replied as her twins guided her into the classroom, finding their usual desk and their mother standing between them.

After a few minutes, the classroom was packed with parents and other guardians. Mr. Anderson asked for everyone to quiet down, and once the voices were gone, he started, “Hello everybody! I am Todd Anderson, your children’s english teacher. It is very nice to see so many parents here supporting their kids’ education. A little bit about myself. I am from Vermont originally. I attended a few private schools there and then went to study literature at Columbia University. I originally wanted to be a writer, but after some failed attempts at that I decided to get my teaching certificate and teach high school. I started teaching here about eleven years ago, when me and my family moved from Queens to Brooklyn. I originally taught at a school there. My daughter is a sophomore here and doing exactly what all of the students present here tonight are doing. That being, dragging their clueless parents around a confusing school,” that earned him a few laughs, “the purpose of my class is to give your children the opportunity to use words, language, and literature to express themselves and find their identity. To quote from famous poet Walt Whitman, ‘the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.’ My goal is to give my students the tools to contribute their verses to the world. My own english teacher gave me that opportunity when I was your children’s age. I don’t expect them to fall in love with Shakespearean writing by the end of the year, but I hope that they learn from his words and apply his messages to real life. I don’t expect them to write beautiful poetry with amazing rhyme and meter, but I hope they find their own words and make their lives a work of art. That is the purpose of this class. Now, my contact information is on the board. Please don’t be afraid to call me if you have any questions or concerns. If you have what you need, feel free to head off to your next destination. If you want to stick around a chat a little, we have a few minutes before it is time to move on the rotation. Thank you all for coming!”

Renee was speechless after hearing Mr. Anderson’s speech. Nate and Natalie were right, he did have some kind of spark in him that was not present in many, if any, other teachers she had met over the past few years. There was more to get out of his class than just a passing grade. There were messages and themes that he wanted his students to pick up on and apply to their real lives. He enjoyed the lessons taught in fiction. This was astounding to her, and she really wanted to speak to him.

“Nate, Natalie,” Mr. Anderson greeted as he made his way over to them and their mother, “I’m happy to see you both here,” he turned to Renee, “they aren’t causing you any trouble, are they?”

“No,” Renee smiled, “I’m lucky to have them as my guides. And they are very lucky to have you as their teacher.”

Todd nodded, “Well, thank you, Mrs. Dalton. That means a lot coming from a parent.”

“Well it’s the truth,” Renee said, “And, just for the record, it’s Dr. Dalton.”

“Well, that’s even better. I haven’t had many doctors as parents before. Well, Dr. Dalton, may I ask what you specialize in?”

Renee replied, “I’m a psychiatrist. So is my husband, the other Dr. Dalton. We own a practice here in Brooklyn. My husband is actually at a business dinner right now, so he wasn’t able to make it.”

“Psychiatrist?” Todd thought to himself for a second. He didn’t want to come off as too eager to Robin, he didn’t want to freak her out any more than he already had. He could tell she wasn’t fully on board with the idea of seeing someone in the first place. But here, right in front of him, was an opportunity to get Robin some real help from someone who had an M.D. in mental health. He smiled at her, “Can I speak to you one-on-one real quick, Dr. Dalton?”

She nodded, and he took her over to his desk. Nate and Natalie waited by the door.

“Dr. Dalton, I’m going to get fairly unprofessional real fast. My daughter, Robin, has a lot of anxiety problems. She doesn’t quite understand them or how to deal with them. And I know it’s only going to get worse. Mostly because, when I was her age, I had a lot of the same problems. I started seeing a therapist when I was 19, but I needed help much earlier. And she said she’d try getting some help.”

Renee smiled softly, “Do you want me to talk to her? Bring her in for a consultation?”

“I would really appreciate that,” Todd nodded, “Is there any chance you can stop by after this is all over? Robin will be back here with my wife and we can talk times and stuff then.”

“I can do that, sure,” Renee agreed, “The twins brought themselves so they can just go home. And my husband should actually be here by then, so we can all talk things over, see if she is more comfortable with him or me, things like that.”

Todd exhaled and nodded, a giant smile on his face, “Great, thank you. I’ll see you around 9?”

“Around 9.”

Renee then left with Nate and Natalie, who didn’t question what the conversation was about. It didn’t take a genius to figure out it was about something related to their parents’ line of work, especially when their mom told them to take themselves home and that she and their father would be home later. Speaking of him, on the second floor, where they both had their separate classes, was Charlie Dalton, standing outside of Nate’s next class.

“It’s like 8:30, Charlie,” Renee told him, “You said 8.”

Charlie shook his head, “I said around 8. Dinner went a little long.”

“Did it go well?”

A large, cocky grin formed on the male Dr. Dalton’s face, “We’re going to be in tip-top shape.”

~~~~

“This is a little fast, don’t you think, Todd?” Peggy asked as they waited for Renee and her husband, “I mean, she agreed to this only a couple hours ago.”

“I arraigned it when the idea was fresh in my mind. Can you blame me?”

Peggy sighed and looked at her daughter, who was rocking back and forth in her spot, “I hope this does something.”

“It should,” Todd affirmed her, then went to stand next to his daughter.

Robin shook her head, “Are...are you s-sure she’s a g-g-good person to t-talk to?”

“She has her doctorate in this field. So does her husband. That makes them nearly experts on how to help. Dr. Dalton was very kind and understanding when I talked to her earlier. I think she or her husband will benefit you.”

She nodded and leaned against her dad, “I hope you’re right.”

The Andersons waited a few minutes more for the Daltons to arrive. Todd checked his watch when he started to get worried. It was only about ten minutes after nine. But he didn’t even see them come in as he checked the time.

And boy was he not expecting what happened next.

“Holy shit, Todd?”

He looked up, and his eyes locked with the man’s that just walked in. He froze. He recognized this person immediately. He looked almost the exact same all these years later. Todd took a few steps towards him. He couldn’t believe his eyes.

“Charlie?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> -past drinking problems  
> -past drug abuse  
> -mentions of anxiety  
> -reference to a suicide

“Sweetie, you have got to lay off the whiskey,” Sarah grabbed the bottle off of her husband’s desk and rustled his hair, “I understand this is stressful, but, considering you put this on yourself, I don’t think you have the right to drink the pain away.”

Knox shook his head, “I’ve gotten better, you know that.”

“This is a brand new bottle and it’s a fourth of the way done.”

“It’s still not as bad as it used to be,” he looked up at his wife and sighed, “I’ve been trying to track them down all weekend, with barely any breaks. I’ve only found 2 out of 4. And God knows I’m going to need more witnesses than just my friends. I need to reach out to the writer of the article and get an interview, see if he will testify. I tried calling the paper but they won’t let me through to him for some reason.”

Sarah closed her eyes for a moment. Her husband was a dedicated man. She knew this. He had finished law school early, in which that process almost delayed their wedding when he got so busy studying he didn’t help plan the ceremony. He had missed a lot of Bill’s little league games when he was little, as well as Courtney’s piano recitals. A lot of that was from work. Some of that was from drinking. After one night spent in the city jail, Knox went to AA to help control his problem. He stopped drinking for a while, but he started again after about a year. He didn’t go to bars anymore, but they did make a trip to the liquor store every couple of weekends. Knox was right, though. He was better. Sarah just wished he would stop, especially during times like these.

“Are you sure this is even worth it, Knox?”

Knox exhaled loudly and took off his reading glasses, setting them on the desk, “I don’t know. I hope so. I really hope so. It’s so fucked up. It was fucked up when I went there. But even then, the situation was muddy. Sometimes I wonder if the shit we pulled was worth it. Charlie getting expelled, Todd getting detention for the rest of the year, the general pain of that second semester… I still ended up here, exactly where I thought I would be then. I became a good lawyer. I support my family. I put my kids in a good school. But then I think of how… amazing those times of rebellion were.”

“Rebellion is dangerous.” Sarah said quietly.

“I know it is, and it was. But we did it. And it was amazing. I was closer to those guys then than I had been any other year. We were liberated. But when they found out, it was like we had knives to our throats. It wasn’t until then did I realize it were those times of rebellion that we didn’t have them. And to think that that is still going on now… is horrid to think about.”

His wife ran a hand through her thin blonde hair, “But did it really do any damage?”

Knox froze. Had he not ever told her? He tried to recount times when he brought that year up. Mr. Keating, the club, the standing on desks? How could have he missed such an important detail? 

“Did I seriously never tell you about Neil?”

She shook her head, “You’ve mentioned his name, I think. In fact, you’ve mentioned a lot of names that I don’t recognize. Like, I don’t recall a Charlie or a Todd.”

“There’s no way I’ve never told you. It was a big part of my life.”

“Maybe you just forgot, especially with the drinking problems.”

Knox sat back in disbelief, “I can’t believe I never mentioned any of it.”

Sarah put her hand on his shoulder, “What happened, Knox?”

“My friend Neil committed suicide in December of our senior year. Because he tried to break from conformist ways.”

She felt nauseous at that moment. She used Knox’s shoulder to brace herself a little before speaking, “Oh my God, Knox… so that is why you are doing this.”

“That’s a lot of the reason,” he let a tear slip, then reached for a picture that was laying on his desk. It was of the whole Dead Poets Society in the cave. Charlie had taken it and gave it to him, “this was him,” he pointed out a tall, lanky boy with dark eyes sitting near the back, “and this was Todd, the one that led a rebellion against our headmaster not long after it happened,” he pointed to the boy next to Neil, with soft light hair and a shy smile, “and this is Charlie, the one who got expelled for not complying with the school,” a smug boy with a cigarette in his hand, “and this was Steven… and Gerard… and this was Richard, but he was an ass so we don’t talk about him.” Sarah chuckled a little and examined the picture a little more. They all looked calm. They all looked genuinely happy to be sitting in a cramped cave lit up by nothing except a candle near the back, behind Neil. There was a book in Todd’s hand that looked really old, probably the one the read poems out of. It was probably freezing outside when this picture was taken, yet they looked so content.

“You think you can make this work? The lawsuit, getting them all back together?”

Knox nodded, “I’m going to try. Thank God for the internet, or else this would be a lot harder.”

Sarah nodded, then kissed him on the top of his head, “Just don’t get too eager. Plan things out as detailed as you can.”

“When don’t I?”

Sarah laughed, then turned around when she heard the door open. At the entry was Bill and Courtney, still in their school uniforms, “Is everything alright?”

“We were just wondering if you needed help starting dinner,” Bill said, “both of us finished our homework.”

“Then let’s get food going,” Sarah smiled and guided her two teens into the kitchen, leaving Knox alone again with nothing but his computer, his notes, his thoughts, and half a glass of whiskey.

**~~~~**

They embraced. It felt like a dream, being in the other’s presence for the first time in almost thirty years. Had it really been that long? Because, at that moment, Todd didn’t feel forty-eight years old. He felt eighteen again, young and able to do whatever he wanted. It was like he could feel Charlie, a reckless teen, tackling him in the woods on their way to the cave. But this Charlie seemed different. More grown up. Todd didn’t think that was possible.

“My God, I can’t believe it,” Charlie said once they parted, exasperated, “You’re my kids’ english teacher? The one they go on and on about? Shit, they love you.”

Todd laughed, “You think you’re surprised? I can’t believe I never put two and two together. I mean, I guess I thought Dalton was more common of a name than it actually is. But, Charlie, you’re a psychiatrist? For real?”

“Yes, for real,” Charlie adjusted his poster, “Charles Dalton, M.D.. Got my degree at Johns Hopkins.”

“Where the hell did this Charlie come from? The one I knew probably would have eloped to Vegas or something. Worked low wage jobs, stuff like that. I mean, you were pretty reckless when I knew you.”

Renee then spoke up, “Trust me, he’s still an insane nut. He’s just an educated insane nut.”

“I’m sorry,” Peggy said, walking over to Todd, “Honey, who is this? How do you know him?”

“Oh? I thought I mentioned him before. This is Charlie Dalton. We went to Welton together. His room was across from mine,” he turned to Charlie, “This is my wife, Peggy, and my daughter, Robin.”

The two Anderson girls waved, and Charlie gave Todd a strange look. Todd knew what he was thinking, and he was hoping Charlie had enough of those doctor brains to realize not to say a certain name, especially in front of someone he barely knew and his daughter that didn’t know anything about that situation. Before he could say anything, Todd gave him a look he hoped was easy to read. Good thing for him, Charlie nodded a little.

“You know, it makes sense you named her that,” Charlie said, and Todd could tell he was trying to be careful with his words, “You love Shakespeare. And  _ A Midsummer Night’s Dream  _ was the first play of his you read, right? Back in our senior year?”

Todd nodded, then Robin asked, “Is there a c-character in that play named Robin?”

“Kind of,” Todd explained, “it was a pseudonym for a character. But, yeah, that’s where your name comes from.”

Robin smiled a little, “Th-that’s pretty co...cool.”

“You know,” Renee said, “I think we should talk about the matter at hand, shall we?”

So they did. Robin did her best to explain how she was feeling without stuttering so much and without crying. She didn’t start sobbing, but she did let some tears slip by. Her dad comforted her while she talked. Charlie and Renee listened intently, asking simple yet effective questions to get a better understanding of the situation. At one point, Charlie looked up at Todd with a very sad look on his face. He felt horrible for Robin, and he could tell that this was what Todd was like back when they were young. No wonder he was so desperate to get her some help.

Renee walked over to Robin and placed a hand on her shoulder, “I don’t know if this comforts you at all, but we treat patients with similar things every day. And helping those who need it is what we live for. It is why we do what we do. Both me and Charlie. We can get you in sometime this weekend or next week, if you can.”

Robin looked up at her dad, who simply gave her a nod. With a small smile, she turned to the Daltons and said, “Can I-I c-come in Sa...Saturday? Saturday mor-morning?”

“I’m personally booked, but I bet Renee can get you in,” Charlie smiled.

“I have time Saturday morning,” his wife assured, “just have your parents drop you off and we’ll call them when we’re done. Does that sound alright, Robin?”

She nodded, her posture physically more relaxed.

“What about you guys?” Charlie asked her parents, “Todd? Peggy?”

“This sounds fantastic,” Peggy nodded, “I’m glad you guys have the time to do this.”

“Me too,” Todd held his daughter close.

Just as the group was getting ready to leave, Charlie walked up to Todd and asked, “Do you want to go to a bar or something? To catch up?”

Normally, Todd would have said no. He resented bars. He didn’t like their atmosphere or what they promoted. But this was Charlie. And not the Charlie he knew at Welton, but one that knew boundaries and didn’t want any trouble. So he agreed, and they took his car to the nearest bar as the rest of their family went home.

~~~~

“I swear, I’m not getting shitfaced,” Todd laughed as he wiped the front of his shirt with a napkin, “just clumsy, as usual.”

“You weren’t clumsy back then, just awkward and quiet,” Charlie reassured.

“And riddled with anxiety. Don’t forget that,” he pointed to Charlie and continued to clean his shirt.

Charlie laughed and took a sip of his beer, “I feel like I don’t even have to ask why you became an english teacher. Renee told me about what you said. You took a lot from Keating.”

“Well who do you think I was going to take lessons from, Hagar?” Todd shook his head, “I originally wasn’t going to do this. I was going to just write. But simply writing poetry doesn’t get you anywhere, so I decided to teach. Got my certificate and here I am.”

“You would think they would teach you how to write a successful poem at Columbia.”

“You would think,” he smiled, “but they did have a great program. And a great community. It’s where I met Peggy.”

Charlie smirked and leaned in a little, “Tell me more about her. I’ll admit, I was a little surprised.”

“She is the most interesting woman I have ever known,” Todd beamed, “she was a grade below me and stayed at the dorm building across from mine. I would see her walk to class. I noticed her studying outside one day my junior year and I, on a whim, decided to join her. I was a few years into therapy at that point, and after a slow progression, I finally felt confident enough to talk to someone that wasn’t my roommate, who, by the way, I haven’t talked to since graduation. She let me help her with some work. And we just hit it off. We started dating a few weeks later, and I asked her to marry me at her graduation. We waited a while to have Robin, and when we started trying it took quite a bit, but in the end we got her.”

“Where’s Peggy from?”

“Texas. Austin area. She was Salutatorian of her class and got into Columbia on a big scholarship, which was a big deal for a girl who was the daughter of Mexican immigrants. English is her second language.” Todd stopped for a moment to laugh.

Charlie furrowed his eyebrows, “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just that,” he shook his head again, “it’s ironic how I could never date anyone normal, to society’s standards. My two biggest loves were a guy and a Hispanic girl.”

With a whistle, Charlie replied, “Well that took some balls. Openly admitting to not being straight at a bar in the height of the epidemic.”

“You do realize me and Neil never had sex, right? Besides, it was 1959. The closest we ever got to sleeping together was falling asleep on the same bed and waking up cuddling. That was ballsy considering our doors didn’t have locks.”

“Still, people will think you are dirty or something. You aren’t, but people will think that.”

Todd sighed, “I don’t care. You are the only person I know that’s here. So what if some stranger overhears a middle aged man talking about his gay teenage romance? It won’t make any difference. Besides, the only person I’ve been with is Peggy, and I’m the only person she has been with.”

Charlie nodded, “And she’s okay with… does she know?”

“That I’m bisexual? Yeah, she knows. She also knows about Neil. That’s why I was able to name my daughter Robin. Pretty name with homage to my first love. If it helps, her middle name is Lee, which was Peggy’s first love’s middle name. We compromised.”

“You seem okay with talking about him,” Charlie pointed out solemnly, “I sometimes still struggle with it.”

“The time helps,” Todd noted, “but I too have a hard time usually. It’s why Robin doesn’t know. Hell, I cried over a picture of us kissing the other night.”

“The one I took after that meeting that one night? Forgot I took that.”

Todd nodded with a small smile. That was a great night. The play was a couple weeks away and Neil was delighted with how rehearsals were going. He had read a portion of the play out to the club that night, with some of the boys pitching in with the other lines. He remembered Charlie making funny voices to try and throw Neil. It didn’t work. When they all started heading back to Welton, Todd held Neil back and kissed him once everyone else was out of sight. They didn’t even notice the flash of Charlie’s camera at first. When they saw him, he promised to give them copies of the picture when he could get them developed. Neil never got a copy.

“Okay, fuck talking about my life,” Todd turned the tables, “What about you? I thought you were at NYU when I last saw you.”

Charlie replied, after taking a drink, “I started off as a general studies major, just to get a feel for what I wanted. But I had some… problems. Drug problems. I had smoked some pot and stuff at my last high school, but my roommate got me on worse stuff. Acid, heroin, coke, things like that. It was not good. I skipped a lot of classes and would go to class high. One time I puked on my comp professor and he referred me to a psychiatrist to help with my addiction. And it helped. A lot. We figured out why I had this problem, what led to it, shit like that. A lot of it was connected to what happened with Keating and Neil. Keating was right, don’t choke on the bone when sucking the marrow out of life.”

“I’m pretty sure a ‘call from God’ is a lot different than a drug addiction.”

“Oh whatever. Same sort of message. But, as I went through psychiatry and therapy, I learned to love the profession. I was amazed by what they could do. If they could help me go from being 12 to 19 in a matter of months, then I could help others with similar issues. So, my sophomore year, I changed my major to psychology with a minor in chemistry, to help get the prerequisites for med school. And here I am. Helping everyone from depressed teens to addicts. And I love it.”

“Did you meet Renee and med school?”

“Nope,” he shook his head, “conference. We, in your words, hit it off easily and one thing led to another. Got married, had kids, started our practice after years at a hospital. And now you are teaching my kids.”

“Well, I hope,” Todd sipped his beer, and Charlie nodded at him.

“You are.”

Then a pause.

“You and Neil did way more than just cuddle. I remember distinctly walking in on you guys sucking face on his bed with no shirts.”

“There’s the Charlie I know.”

They talked for about another hour before heading back. Todd dropped Charlie off at his house, then went back to his apartment. Robin was well asleep and Peggy was waiting on him while reading a romance novel. He got into his pajamas and crawled in bed, pressing a kiss to his wife’s shoulder.

“Te amo, Peggy.”

He could tell she was gleaming without looking at her. It made him smile, too.

“Te amo, Todd. Buenas noches.”


End file.
